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The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz: Book Review & Summary

Book Review & Summary: The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book) by Don Miguel Ruiz
Book Review & Summary: The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book) by Don Miguel Ruiz 

Introduction of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. What are the four agreements of life by Don Miguel Ruiz? 

The book "Four Agreements-The Practical Guide to Personal Freedom" has been very popular since its publication in 1997. After several reprints, it is still on the bestseller list. 

Don Miguel Ruiz reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. 

Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, the Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives into a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love. 

This 4-color illustrated edition of "The Four Agreements" commemorates its 10-year anniversary. 

With 7 years on "The New York Times "bestseller list and nearly 4 million copies in print, "The Four Agreements" continues to top numerous bestseller lists.

Author: The Four Agreements: Don Miguel Ruiz

Author Don Miguel Ruiz grew up in a family of therapists in rural Mexico. He was the youngest of 13 siblings. The family expected him to inherit the mantle, but he chose to enter the modern medical system with his brother. Studying medicine in Tijuana, preparing to become a neurosurgeon. 

A near-death car accident experience made a huge change in his life. He rethought the meaning of life, decided to return to tradition, learned the way of healing from his mother, and became a shaman. 

Because of this special background, he was able to perfectly combine ancient wisdom with modern science, and explore the wisdom of ancestors from the perspective of modern science.

Ruiz is a prolific author who, in addition to The Four Agreements, has published The Mastery of Love, The Voice of Knowledge, The Fifth Agreement, and The Toltec Art of Life and Death published in 2015.

Book: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz


The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz Quotes

When you fall in love with someone and have a relationship with that person, you find reasons for your love. You only want to see what you want to see. Refuse to admit that there is something in him that you don't like. You lie to yourself in order to prove that you are not wrong. When you really can't fool yourself, you'll make assumptions, and you'll say, "My love can change him." But that's not the case. Your love can't change anyone. If others change, it's because they want to change, not because you have the ability to change them.

And then, one day, he hurt you. Suddenly, you see his flaws—things you didn't see before; now, magnified by your emotional poison, they appear so dazzling. You need to find some reason for your misery, and you start to blame him for all kinds of wrongs; you hate yourself for seeing the wrong person.

In fact, love needs no reason. To love is to love, not to love is not to love. True love is accepting others as they are, not trying to change them. If we want to change them, we don't really love them. When you decide you want to live with someone, it's best that person is who you want to be, and that preferably doesn't require any remodeling. It's easier to find someone who looks the way you want than to try and change someone. That person should love you the way you are now, so there is no need for him to change you. If the other person keeps trying to change you, it means that he doesn't really like you the way you are. Since you don't meet his expectations now, why should you be with him?

One day you will stop making assumptions about your lover. One day you will stop making assumptions about anyone. There will be a qualitative change in the way you communicate; there will be no more conflicts between you and others caused by false assumptions; your relationships with others will no longer be damaged.
Asking more questions can prevent you from making assumptions. When communicating with others, make sure you hear what the other person is saying. If you don't understand, ask. Take the courage to keep asking questions until you no longer have any doubts. When you no longer have doubts, you no longer need to make assumptions. Since all the questions have been answered, why make assumptions?.

Of course, just because you don't have a question doesn't mean you know everything; there may be some issues you haven't noticed. Don't assume you know everything. ---Quoted from Chapter 4, The Third Covenant - No Assumptions

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz Summary

  In the early 1970s, in his final year of medical school, Miguel Ruiz had a bad car accident that changed the course of his life. He had been raised in rural Mexico by a mother who was a curandera (healer), and by a grandfather who was a nagual (shaman) but had left behind their traditional ways. 

Despite the severity of the accident Ruiz was miraculously unhurt and had a spiritual experience he could not explain. In the aftermath, he turned to his family's ancient Toltec wisdom and set about becoming a nagual himself, committed to guiding people to greater mental freedom.

  Awaking from the dream  

  In Toltec wisdom, the world or 'reality' is seen as a collective dream. The word used for this fog of perception is Mitote, which is similar to the Hindu word for illusion, Maya. This dream is the same as normal dreams, except that its rules and customs of understanding and behaving enable it to seem more real. 

We are born into a ready-made phantasm that includes language, culture, religion, and family, and we agree to go along with it because it is too difficult to resist. Ruiz describes this process as 'the domestication of humans.
  In order to get by, we make invisible agreements with others - spouse, children, society, God - but the most important agreements we make, Ruiz says, are with ourselves. Some of them benefit us, but many others make us suffer. 

We hang onto them because we believe we would be something less without them. According to Toltec wisdom, most people's problems stem from not being able to forgive themselves that they are not perfect, yet it is other people's rules that they are trying to measure up to - not their own.
  The good news is that by becoming conscious of our agreements we can begin to control our lives. We can declare a war of independence in which we decide how we will view the world. In shamanic traditions, Ruiz notes, individuals are called 'warriors because they fight the parasite in their own minds.
  The Four Agreements became a bestseller after actor Ellen Degeneres spoke of the book while on Oprah Winfrey's television show. While the concepts within Toltec wisdom are far from simplistic, the agreements themselves are easy to remember.

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word

We need to speak with a pure attitude and express our true feelings. There is power in every word we say. Avoid using words to criticize yourself or others. Vicious language is like black magic that will sow bad seeds in people's hearts. We should use the power of words to express innocence and love.

The author gave an example, a little girl happily sang and danced at home, her mother dragged her tired body home, her daughter's singing gave her a splitting headache, so she yelled: "Stop singing, it's ugly. !" Mom said this sentence actually only reflects her personal truth (the body is not feeling well and needs to be quiet), and it has nothing to do with the girl's voice. 

But suppose the little girl believed what her mother said and said to herself (promise) in her heart: "My voice is ugly, it will make others feel uncomfortable, I will stop singing." The mother's words become black magic, Casting a spell on the little girl's life not only made her stop singing but also affected his interpersonal interactions.

Once we believe and accept other people's comments, we make an agreement with ourselves, and this agreement will become part of our thought system and shape our values.

2. Don't take anything personally

What others do is not directed at you, others' words and deeds are just projections of their own reality and dreams. When you are influenced by the words, actions, and opinions of others, you are trapped in a victim situation.

Once you personalize things, you often feel violated and fight others in defense of your own ideology. Small things become big, and everything has to be won. In fact, what you do is just project your own dreams, reality, and your promise to yourself.

When the author is talking about things here, he means anything, both good and bad. Whatever someone says to you, "You suck!" or "You are awesome!" has nothing to do with you, but reflects the personal truth of the speaker. When we don't personalize things, we don't get hurt by what other people say or do.

When you have made an agreement with yourself "Don't make things personal", you can express your true emotions and thoughts freely, and you can say "I love you" to the person you like without the fear of rejection, again, you can say no to others without any guilt or self-judgment. Even in the toughest of times, you can keep your peace of mind.

3. Don't Make Assumptions

Have the courage to ask questions and express what you really want. Communicate as clearly as possible with others to avoid misunderstandings, upsets, or hallucinations. This agreement alone can completely change your life.

All sadness and illusions come from assumptions and personalizing things that are deeply embedded in our thinking system. We make assumptions out of fear of understanding the truth, and we get bogged down by constantly trying to prove others wrong in order to keep our assumptions right. When encountering doubts, it is best to ask directly, rather than deduce in our hearts, which will make us emotionally uneasy.

In our intimate relationship, we often think that the other half knows me well, even if I don't say it, he knows what I'm thinking. When the other person doesn't do what you want and meet your needs, they feel hurt. In fact, all this suffering comes from our own creation of false assumptions.

The author gives an interesting example:

You walk into the mall one day and see your crush there, he turns around and smiles at you, and walks away. You may have assumed this experience because of this experience: "He must be smiling at me because he likes me." 

You are so convinced of your thoughts that you start a series of scripts in your mind: He likes me, and soon after We'll date, and he'll propose to me..." All this fantasy comes from your false assumptions.

4. Always Do your Best

Your best state can change from moment to moment, depending on your state of health at the time. No matter what the situation, as long as you do your best, you will not self-judgment, self-abuse, or regret.

This concept is actually commonplace, but the author's emphasis on ''JUST DO YOUR BEST'' is refreshing. Different from the previous concept of teaching people to sprint and work hard, the author emphasizes balance. No more, no less, if you don't try your best, you'll regret it, but if you push too hard, it can also damage your body and mind.

For example, many people go to work every day thinking only about payday, every day looking forward to the weekend, they work for pay, they don't like their job and they don't give their best. 

They don't do it voluntarily, they have to, they have to pay the rent, they have to support their families, and they are not happy at work, so they indulge on weekends and do whatever they want. 

They don't like themselves, they don't like their whole life, so they do a lot of things that hurt themselves like drinking.

The author believes that if you do things without expecting pay, you will enjoy the whole process, and do your best, and when you try to do your best, you will be paid more. And you do it all the time, over and over, and you become an expert in a field.

However, here he did not specifically point out how to change his mind, from necessary to voluntary? This should be the most important step. Also, working without expecting pay feels a little unrealistic, and life is a real problem. 

Moreover, the way of doing things is also very important. It does not mean that you will get huge rewards if you work hard and enjoy the process. The weather, location and people are also influencing factors.

Book Reviews by The Four Agreements: Don Miguel Ruiz

This book makes a point that all of us have prejudices against other people, our fears about the future and our annoyance about the past are all our own dreams. Everyone has their own dreams, and the whole society is a huge dream. intertwined and influenced each other. 

And the effects of these dreams are the things we take for granted: gossip, lies, abuse, aggression, suspicion, emotional outbursts, control, low self-esteem, self-doubt, and suspicion of others.

The second part is the main part. The author talks about 4 main ideas to overcome these influences. First of all, we must realize the existence of this fantasy, that is, realize that many of the judgment standards we have adhered to since childhood are wrong, and many are harsh on us. Requirements do not have to exist, you must be conscious before you can change.

First, use words carefully and speak well

This principle sounds very simple. Everyone knows the benefits of paying attention to words and deeds. But the other side of the book that mentions the careful use of words touched me very much. He said, to pay attention to your words not only for others but also for yourself. Have we ever had this situation?

When doing a challenging thing, get used to belittling yourself:

I can not,

I'm just not as good as anyone else,

I don't have the talent to do this,

I am stupid

When accused by others, doubt yourself:

Did I do something wrong just now?

I'm talking like that, right?

Am I not good enough?

Slowly become inferior, cautious, afraid to try new things, dare not be yourself, and lose creativity.

This is because we have always grown up in an environment of public rules, and there are many false rules that restrict us. From childhood to adulthood, we grew up under various rules, restricted by parents and teachers, and through rewards or punishments, What they said must be right. 

If you don't reach it, you will be punished. If you reach it, you can be rewarded. When we grow up, we can finally be independent and make money by ourselves, but are you really independent? 

Maybe in a certain In a way, but in psychological terms, some people are just children forever, their rulers become superiors, bosses... Because we were raised in captivity from childhood to adulthood.

Over time, we get used to being condemned, and we learn to condemn others and learn to condemn ourselves.

Pay attention to the words you use and speak well, it is to let you climb out of this trap. Language is a hint weapon. It will give psychological hints to the listener. After listening to some words for a long time, you will really develop in this direction, so don't be casual. Despise yourself and don't judge others.

Second, don't take the right seat

In interpersonal relationships, you can never avoid encountering some annoying people, who can't speak, don't care about other people's feelings, blame you indiscriminately, and insult you, just like a scholar meets a soldier, you have no reason to speak. Even your own family members, close friends, or partners may misunderstand you and say things that hurt you.

I used to be very sad when I met such a person because as a self-media, you can't avoid being "scolded by others". I think the only way is not to respond, to ignore, not to think. But the brain is a strange thing. The more you tell it not to think, the less you tell it why the more it wants to think. Although I learned to ignore these negative emotions, I still feel sad for a while.

Until I opened this book, there was one sentence that struck me: We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume that others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse. This is the biggest assumption that humans make.

I suddenly realized that the biggest illusion in our life is to expect others to understand us, ignoring that everyone has different ideas, different growth environments, different ways of looking at problems, and different wounds. It got to it, and then it exploded.

When a person is malicious to you, it is not because you are not good, but because of his environment, his mentality, and the way he looks at the problem, it has nothing to do with you. 

Conversely, when a person shows kindness to you, it is not because you are good, but because his world view, his environment, and the education, he received from childhood shaped him well. The way each of us treats others is a reflection of our own values.

Always understand that a person is an island. Each of us lives in a different world. This world is built by the environment we grew up in, the education we received, the treatment of our parents, what we have seen and heard, etc.

When we see someone say something insulting to us, we take it seriously, in fact, it is equivalent to him being in my world, spying on my world, and having the same cognition as me, so we will pay special attention, to simple I just want to be understood,

But understanding is based on the same cognition,

But the problem is, no one can really fully understand who, because no one in the world has exactly the same understanding,

He's not looking into our world, it's his own world, he's speaking to you from his own perspective in his own world, and he doesn't know the whole picture of you. We want to justify, we want to impose our world on his world, we want to change other people's views, and we want to pull others into our own world, this is impossible, you can't change anything Human opinion is futile.

The best way is to understand that everyone is in a different world, you don't have to accept the reflection of other people's world and impose it on yourself. In short, you don't have to sit in the right seat.

After understanding this, I suddenly became enlightened and felt that through this logic, I could see through the words and deeds of many people, benevolence, and malice, which were all reflections of their own world, and I could live more freely.

Third, don't assume

Maybe most of the "friendship" between people starts with two people getting together to "assume" someone else, another word called: gossip

But what is the core of gossip? Is it the truth? No, it contains many assumptions of our subjective consciousness.

Two colleagues come together and gossip about the new leader,

he was so young,

How did you get in?

How did you become a leader?

Did he go through the back door?

Two female students came together and liked to gossip about good-looking boys,

I saw and who went home with him today,

He's been getting closer to who recently,

Who do you think he likes?

Didn't you hear that he has a girlfriend?

Do you think you won't make assumptions when you're alone? you are wrong

When you were walking on the road and saw a good-looking boy, he saw you too, then he smiled at you and left

Your fantasy begins,

does he like me,

Does he have a girlfriend,

Why didn't he come to talk to me, is he in a hurry,

where does he work? Can I meet him tomorrow?

It wasn't until I finally got married to him in my mind that I was willing to give up.

These are trivial assumptions, but sometimes our assumptions are the source of evil,

Sometimes other people's actions have no meaning, but we can stage a big drama in our hearts. This big drama is the fuse that deepens the misunderstanding. You are angry, angry, and screaming in it, but the other party seems to be nothing, the more you think about it. The more you get angry, the big drama rushes out of your mind and becomes a reality.

The source of conflict for many couples does not begin with "something", but assuming "something"

But does the assumption really work? As long as you walk over and ask the client, you will find that 80% of our assumptions are wrong.

Things could be better or worse, but definitely not the version you think,

Why do people love hypotheses so much?

Because our brains are inherently lazy,

It is easy to make assumptions by yourself, you just need to rehearse in your own mind;

It is too difficult to go forward and ask the truth. It involves language organization, action, emotional control, etc. It's troublesome to think about, why can't I reason first? Anyway, according to what I know about him, it's inseparable...

Stop, stop, that's the problem,

But it's not your fault, it's the innate inertia of the brain,

But what can you do if you want things to be better?

Don't assume, anything.

If you have a chance, go forward and ask, and if you don't have a chance, wait.

There is a famous saying in the stock market,

When we don't know what to do, doing nothing is better than everything.

I think the same applies to life.

Fourth, do the best you can

This one is based on the above 3 points. Do your best to do the above 3 points, but don't expect to perform well every time. 

After all, on the way to get along with others, we will break out when we are irritable, say things that should not be said, and make assumptions that should not be made, but please try your best not to do this every time, and practice these four laws through deliberate practice. make it a habit,

To understand,

Don't feed the seeds of negative emotions they won't spread

If I don't sit in the wrong number, other people's malice can't hurt me

Make no assumptions and things get easier

In the end, the painful dreams you've woven yourself will slowly shatter, and you'll step into a more real world and meet a more real self.

Chapter Overview: The Four Agreements: Don Miguel Ruiz

  1. Use words carefully and speak well. Use words with caution to others and yourself, and do not spread the seeds of negative energy, because these things will spread in your mind for a long time. On the contrary, spread positive things and spread branches. The loose leaves are positive energy.
  2. Don't take the right seat. Don't take the right seat for any language, behavior, or thought that is imposed on you. If you don't think like this, he can't hurt you, because what he transmits is the reflection of his world, not yours. All this is related to You having nothing to do.
  3. Don't Assume Don't make any assumptions about any situation, if you have the chance, ask, if you don't, just wait.
  4. Do the best you can. In any situation, do your best to make the top 3 best.
  5. To do the first 4, what kind of psychological preparation is needed. First, break the routine, meet new perceptions, realize that many of your previous views are wrong, and have the courage to break before you can start over. Second, treat yourself as a warrior and fight against your own mind. Third, control our emotions. The way we see the world comes from our mood. When we are in a bad mood, everything is bad. When it is raining, it is sad, when it is sunny, it is sad. When we see a tree also want to cry. All of this has to do with our own mentality, and by changing our mentality, we can change things. heaven is a place that exists within our minds.

How I can apply this to my life

It should be said that I have all the negative opinions of this book, that is to say, I have not followed all the regulations, which is why I am so negative, but no one has taught me these since I was a child, and my family is also relatively Negative energy, as long as my mother quarrels with my father, she likes to say why this man is not good, why is she so miserable, and how is other people's family good. 

When I grew up, I found that I would subconsciously think this way when I was in conflict with others, blaming others and blaming myself. My own personality is also relatively withdrawn, I don't want to get too close to people, and I have a negative attitude.

I was very fortunate to come across this book, which gave me guidance and made me realize that most of the "hell" in my life was subtly influenced by my own prejudice, mentality, and family environment.

Easier said than done, this is a book worth reading again and again, and I will do my best in every practice through my best efforts.

Excerpt: Domestication and the Dream of the Planet

When we went against the rules we were punished; when we went along with the rules we got a reward. We were punished many times a day, and we were also rewarded many times a day. 

Soon we became afraid of being punished and also afraid of not receiving the reward. The reward is the attention that we got from our parents or from other people like siblings, teachers, and friends. We soon develop a need to hook other people's attention in order to get the reward.

True justice is paying only once for each mistake. True injustice is paying more than once for each mistake.

We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot accept and love ourselves. The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse. 

Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that ideal. Our image of perfection is the reason we reject ourselves; it is why we don't accept ourselves the way we are, and why we don't accept others the way they are.

Be Impeccable with Your Word

your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you.

The human mind is like a fertile ground where seeds are continually being planted. The seeds are opinions, ideas, and concepts. You plant a seed, a thought, and it grows.

People who love us do black magic on us, but they don't know what they do. That is why we must forgive them; they don't know what they do.

Don't Take Anything Personally

What causes you to be trapped in what we call personal importance. Personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about “me.”

Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own minds; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.

Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds. Their point of view comes from all the programming they received during domestication.

Do not expect people to tell you the truth because they also lie to themselves.

Don't Make Assumptions

We only see what we want to see, and hear what we want to hear.

It is very interesting how the human mind works. We have the need to justify everything, to explain and understand everything, in order to feel safe.

We make all sorts of assumptions because we don't have the courage to ask questions.

We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume that others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse. This is the biggest assumption that humans make.

Always Do Your Best

They work so hard all week long, suffering the work, suffering the action, not because they like to, but because they feel they have to. They have to work because they have to pay the rent because they have to support their family. 

They have all that frustration, and when they do receive their money they are unhappy. They have two days to rest, to do what they want to do, and what do they do? They try to escape. They get drunk because they don't like themselves. They don't like their life. 

There are many ways that we hurt ourselves when we don't like who we are. On the other hand, if you take action just for the sake of doing it, without expecting a reward, you will find that you enjoy every action you do. Rewards will come, but you are not attached to the reward. 

You can even get more than you would have imagined for yourself without expecting a reward. If we like what we do, if we always do our best, then we are really enjoying life. We are having fun, we don't get bored, we don't have frustrations.

If you take action because you have to, then there is no way you are going to do your best. Then it is better not to do it. No, you do your best because doing your best all the time makes you so happy. When you are doing your best just for the pleasure of doing it, you are taking action because you enjoy the action.

Action is about living fully. Inaction is the way that we deny life. Inaction is sitting in front of the television every day for years because you are afraid to be alive and to take the risk of expressing what you are. 

Expressing what you are is taking action. You can have many great ideas in your head, but what makes the difference is the action. Without action upon an idea, there will be no manifestation, no results, and no reward.

There is no time to miss anyone or anything because you are alive.

Breaking Old Agreements

This chain of training from human to human, from generation to generation, is perfectly normal in human society. You don't need to blame your parents for teaching you to be like them. What else could they teach you but what do they know? 

They did the best they could, and if they abused you, it was due to their own domestication, their own fears, and their own beliefs. They had no control over the programming they received, so they couldn't have behaved any differently.

There is no need to blame your parents or anyone who abused you in your life

The real you is still a little child who never grew up. Sometimes that little child comes out when you are having fun or playing when you feel happy when you are painting, writing poetry, playing the piano, or expressing yourself in some way. 

These are the happiest moments of your life — when the real you come out when you don't care about the past and you don't worry about the future. You are childlike.

The freedom we are looking for is the freedom to be ourselves, to express ourselves. But if we look at our lives we will see that most of the time we do things just to please others

heaven is a place that exists within our minds.

The problem with most people is that they lose control of their emotions. It is the emotions that control the behavior of the human, not the human who controls the emotions.

The big difference between a warrior and a victim is that the victim represses, and the warrior refrains. Victims repress because they are afraid to show their emotions, afraid to say what they want to say. 

To refrain is not the same thing as repression. To refrain is to hold the emotions and to express them at the right moment, not before, not later.

Reading Notes: The Four Agreements: Don Miguel Ruiz

The book is short but there are still many useful places. One of the things that impress me the most is that our tolerance for the outside world and others is a reflection of our own evaluation.

In retrospect, it really seems like this. Some friends joked or joked that my sensitivity to mathematics is not high, the hunch is not enough, the tone of voice is not enough, etc. Although I feel uncomfortable, I think what they said is right Yes, it won't happen to you.

But in the past two years, I feel that I have been studying hard. No matter how much talent I have, my basic skills are at least solid. It is also very sincere to ask people around. When my own perception and definition of myself changed. The views of my old friends also seem to have changed. 

Occasionally, when I say one or two sentences about myself, I will also respond politely. My principle is, no matter how high or low, just insist. After all, the running water does not compete for the first, and the contention is endless.

Another point I like is, to do your best, not anymore, nor any less.

You don't have to hit the stone with an egg, you can do your best to win.
Don't force yourself too much, overdo is not advocated, just persevere and settle down.

The best thing is to speak consciously, and sometimes inadvertently say that you are going to die, you are going to die.

No, it can't be done well, it's a loss, it's wrong to buy, it's wrong to sell it, it should be...
These kinds of words, really think about it, there are no subs to talk about.

Because you don't have to listen to anyone, you're already great! !!

In the past, agreements were all for others, but this year I have an agreement for myself.
Do the best you can. Not the best, but good is enough.

Sparkling Lines

But nobody abuses us more than we abuse ourselves, and it is the Judge, the Victim, and the belief system that makes us do this
And the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit that you will tolerate from someone else. If someone abuses you a little more than you abuse yourself, you will probably walk away from that person. But if someone abuses you a little less than you abuse yourself, you will probably stay in the relationship and tolerate it endlessly.
In these agreements, you say, “This is what I am. This is what I believe. I can do certain things and some things I cannot do. This is reality, that is fantasy; this is possible, that is impossible.
Be Impeccable with Your Word
All the magic you possess is based on your word.
The word is like a seed, and the human mind is so fertile!
You go against yourself when you judge or blame yourself for anything.
When you are impeccable, you take responsibility for your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself
Self-rejection is the biggest sin that you commit.
Use white magic, beginning with yourself. Tell yourself how wonderful you are, how great you are. Tell yourself how much you love yourself
even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds.
It is always better to ask questions than to make an assumption because assumptions set us up for suffering.
If others change, it’s because they want to change, not because you can change them.
If you don’t understand, ask.
Always Do Your Best, no more and no less.
You are not here to sacrifice your joy or your life. You are here to live, to be happy, and to love.
You do your best because you want to do it, not because you have to do it.
Say no when you want to say no, and yes when you want to say yes. You have the right to be you. You can only be you when you do your best
Awareness is always the first step because if you are not aware, there is nothing you can change
After coming out of the desert, all those demons become angels.
now she has a little more power and courage to try again and again until finally, she breaks the agreement
Repetition makes the master.
I will no longer be the big Judge that goes against me. I will no longer beat myself up and abuse myself. I will no longer be the Victim
The only reason you suffer is that you choose to suffer
The only reason you are happy is that you choose to be happy.

Conclusion of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

  The fourth agreement is key to the first three, Ruiz says because while you will not always be able to be impeccable with your word, or not take things personally or make assumptions, you are always free to do your best.

  The world is set up to make it likely you will break the agreements, Ruiz says, but you have to persevere. Getting free of your mind, your Mitote based on false agreements is like climbing a mountain. It is hardest in the beginning, but when the four agreements become a habit it is easier to keep them.
  Final word
  In Carlos Castaneda's Journey To Ixtlan, the author is told by the old nagual Don Juan to 'have a strategy' for his life. If he did not, he would end up a mere reflection of society, with his original self all but buried.
  The premise of The Four Agreements is similar, except that the strategy becomes a story. Ruiz's question is, is the story of your life really yours, or someone else's? 

There is a real person that hides under our layers of conformity, and the strange thing is that many of us want to keep it wrapped up. The author's plea is: Whatever strategy or story you come up with for your life, you have to make sure that it is conscious creation.
  The Four Agreements may seem like a very basic interpretation of shamanistic wisdom, but the book's inspirational message about a re-emergence of the self from the bubble of conditioning is still a powerful one. 

While not a great piece of writing, the work has been a gift to many people who are asserting their true identity for the first time and need to remain steadfast.

Muhiuddin Alam is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of He serves as a consistent contributor to various websites and publications, including Medium, Quora, Reddit, Linkedin, Substack, Vocal, Flipboard, and Amazon KDP. Alam personally read numerous books and, for the past 10 years, has been providing book recommendations and reviews. Find Me: About Me & Google Knowledge Panel.

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